Friday, January 14, 2011

Do Overs

I love New Years Day; it’s the big Do Over. I take out last year’s list of resolutions, cross out the one or two accomplished and move a half dozen or more to next year’s list. ‘Quit smoking’ was on my list for over twenty years before I crossed it off, and I think it helped to have it there. Those two words told me I could quit, and I did. Eventually. Of course, there are other resolutions that have been there just as long, or longer, like lose weight, but I’m not giving up. After all, I quit smoking, didn’t I? So if it takes until my 98th birthday, at least I got there. 

Nature has her own versions of the do over, like the moon’s gravity which creates tides that redo earth’s coastlines. Our brains seem to follow the pattern of lunar phases. The new moon is so new we don’t see it, like the idea in our head that we haven’t painted or sung or built yet. The blog I’m just thinking about. Just as the moon waxes, we bring the idea to fruition, then we rest or wane, until finally we come around to the new moon again when it’s time to try a different approach or move on to a new idea.

And then there’s days. Sundown gives us a chance to pause and contemplate doing things differently come sunrise. If we blew it on Tuesday, ate fries dipped in fudge, yelled at our kids, didn’t get that report done, didn’t run a mile, or do fifty-six push ups, there’s always Wednesday. How many days that thought has comforted me?

But what about minutes? We can’t shrug them off just because they don’t last very long.  Every minute that passes starts another minute so that bite of Snickers that you just swallowed can be the last bite of Snickers and your resolution can restart right then, at 8:47 pm.  You don’t have to wait for sunrise. 

If every minute of our lives is a do over,
Then we are continually
Recreating ourselves as we canter along the
Years, moons, and days, though clouds and haze,
Collaging layer upon layer of
Efforts
Failures
And successes
To become who we are
In this instant,
In all our color, depth and glory.