Waiting for Santa
Santa’s Wish List
1. Cookies
without calories
2. Soy
milk
3. 5
extra hours on December 24th
4. Wider
chimneys
5. Smaller
skateboards
6. Chiropractic
care on insurance
7. GPS
8. Nicer
Birthday suit
Dear Santa,
Got your list. Sorry for the
extra butter in the butter cookies but Grandma insists on making them that way.
I had no idea you were lactose intolerant. As for the kids thinking it was
already morning and running downstairs before it was time, it was only because they heard Spot
barking when you got stuck in the chimney and shouted out a bad word. The dog has been
trained to tattle on anyone who uses that word. As for the skateboard, maybe it
would be better if you left the wheels off and let the kids attach them. That
way when a jet flies over the house and shakes its foundation the skateboard
won’t roll out from under the tree, slam into your foot, cause to lose
your balance and flip over the couch, subsequently ending in the need for a
chiropractor. Also, I promise to attach bigger numbers to the house so the Tom and Lizzie will not write you letters with stick bombs complaining about Barbie dolls in
their stockings.
As for the gift card to Jolly Unwrapped
Hot Springs, you may exchange it for cash or use it in their store. They have
some lovely peppermint bath salts.
Sincerely,
An Apologetic Admirer
