Thursday, December 20, 2012

Santa's Wish List

Waiting for Santa

Santa’s Wish List
1.      Cookies without calories
2.      Soy milk
3.      5 extra hours on December 24th
4.      Wider chimneys
5.      Smaller skateboards
6.      Chiropractic care on insurance
7.      GPS
8.      Nicer Birthday suit

Dear Santa,
Got your list. Sorry for the extra butter in the butter cookies but Grandma insists on making them that way. I had no idea you were lactose intolerant. As for the kids thinking it was already morning and running downstairs before it was time, it was only because they heard Spot barking when you got stuck in the chimney and shouted out a bad word. The dog has been trained to tattle on anyone who uses that word. As for the skateboard, maybe it would be better if you left the wheels off and let the kids attach them. That way when a jet flies over the house and shakes its foundation the skateboard won’t roll out from under the tree, slam into your foot, cause to lose your balance and flip over the couch, subsequently ending in the need for a chiropractor. Also, I promise to attach bigger numbers to the house so the Tom and Lizzie will not write you letters with stick bombs complaining about Barbie dolls in their stockings.
As for the gift card to Jolly Unwrapped Hot Springs, you may exchange it for cash or use it in their store. They have some lovely peppermint bath salts.
An Apologetic Admirer